Letter No. II
Suddenly, I thought about how much I had been walking lately. I thought about my steps; how many steps I have made today, how many steps I will make until dark. One, two, three, seven, twenty-one, forty-two, ninety-eight—back to Office No. 301 to get the dissolution certificate of the company. A company that went bankrupt in 1983 and its founders still have to deal with the problems...even 30 years later. It seems slightly unfair to me. After that there are the subway stairs and me walking up and down the dock waiting for the train to Piraeus to come. Too many steps in a day. Too many steps to be made by a woman.
I usually walk to the gym. It's not far from home, about fifteen minutes. At least at the time my shoes are really comfortable. Time passes without me noticing. And then I run. I run a distance that seems to be a thousand miles inside my head. I run without knowing how far is "far". I never look back. In my head I only have one choice, one chance. Music has to be at the highest volume possible till my ear drums hurt. My ipod is looping this song ten maybe twenty-five times a mile. My mind is looping your voice.
All this running... It’s mine. I choose to lose track of time. I choose to run at night by the sea. It's not because of the view—the sea and the small port looks really beautiful at night—it's the hill across the way that captivates me. You may find it funny. But it's not. I concentrate by focusing on the top of the hill which commands me to run until I get there. And my mind obeys. It makes me hope that I can get there, as if something is there waiting for me. And that something is you. And I keep running. And I run. And run.
Must be on beat. One of the great running rules is to learn how to breathe. It is one of life's greatest rules too. I’ve been working on my breath lately in running and in living. I'm trying to control it while running. To systematize it and become a running breath machine. But when I see you my system falls down, leaving me breathless. When you walk away I leave my breath totally free. I am free to run, to calm down, to stay still and rest for a while, to get out impatient or numb. Either way it depends on how I feel each time and what my needs are after you leave.
I needed to measure all the distances in my life. In the end, I want to diminish some of them while multiplying infinitely. Although... Although I know that none of those needs are optional. I thought about That Moment. In six steps I found myself next to you. I recall That Moment every now and then: just six steps and I was standing beside you.
And then absolutely Nothing happened.
Shocking, isn’t it? One big sack of Nothing. It took me just twenty minutes to feel how much I wanted to run. Away. Far Away. Without a destination or a cause. And I felt that Nothing deep inside of me. So I left. I felt like I had to. I'm not sure if that's what I wanted. Probably not. I didn't run. I just walked away. I left without looking back. I left without looking at your face that I was desperately in love with. I left without saying anything. The distance between us was shaking me inside.
I made a great effort. Two days now I am trying to count steps, miles, distances and stops. What I realized is that I only wanted to be sure about one thing. If all those steps that I've made and keep making became a straight line, would it lead me to you...?
Then I thought that we were just 50 centameters away from each-other and I felt you standing across the Antarctic. But please tell me this... How far from Greece is the Antarctica? It seemed to me that this distance was infinite.
Elizabeth Souflis was born in Greece and graduated from Aristotle University Law School in Thessaloniki.
She has been eternally devoted to Literature, Arts& Culture. After 8 years of Music& Dance Studies she attended Cinematography Seminars for one year at Kapodistrian University of Athens. While working as a lawyer she completed a full year preparation for the School of Fine Arts. Through the years she has attended a variety of Seminars in the fields of Art History, Architecture, Music, Psychology, Philosophy and Marketing.
She is a passionate writer since high school and writes a personal blog called “Tellhimtoday”. She has been working as a Cultural Journalist for 9 years. She has interviewed famous Greek and International Artists, such as Winston McAnuff. She also worked as a Radio Producer in the field of Culture& Travel for several years.
Her favorite writer is Nikos Kazatzakis. She is especially inspired by other people and their influence they have on her.
Elizabeth loves traveling and meeting people.