I woke up this morning, much earlier than I had any reason to, and lay in bed thinking about what I should do today. Then I realized I was angry, livid, frustrated to the nth degree. Why? What possibly could have happened in the five minutes cradled in the cool cavern of my bedroom, under the coziness of my sheets?

In early spring of 2018, I found myself on a phone call with an estranged cousin, Beate. I had just moved back to Germany to research and relive my childhood in preparation for work on a memoir. When my cousin learned I had moved back, she got in touch.

If one were to check the dictionary definition of resiliency and then examine my life, one would conclude that I have not arrived at being fully resilient.

Dear Tiffany,

I wish I could warn you. You don’t have to fear them. They are made of flesh and bone, just like you. They can’t control everything, even though they try so hard you believe it. One day you will realize they are fragile. You are strong. You can snap them into pieces with your words. You will bite your tongue. You will keep your distance.

Ladies wear makeup, party dresses, and shoes.
Like to paint their nails and wear stylish updos.
A life made by having lots of material things,
along with it, the stuff that style surely brings.