Reb Nachman of Bratislav, the 18th century sage, wrote:

כל העולם כולו גשר צר מאוד והעיקר לא לפחד כלל

Kol ha’olam kulo gesher tsar m’od v’ha-ikar lo l’pakhad k’lal

The whole entire world is a very narrow bridge and the important thing is to not be afraid.

I tug at the sleeves of my sweater as I rock back and forth on the hospital floor. A girl around my age tucks a strand of her turquoise hair behind her ear and sits in the chair beside me, her knees up under her chin.

At first, I thought I’d killed you. The Friday before, you texted to tell me you were going to drown yourself in the Monongahela River. It was late Spring. You were drinking again.

“Go to the ER,” I told you. “Please don’t give up.” But, I didn’t offer to sit with you or hold your hand till the pain stopped. Instead, I just imagined you wandering along the trail by the river’s edge, staring into the murky rush.