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Posts tagged self love

WTF Is a Hoe Phase Anyway?

WTF Is a Hoe Phase Anyway?

Hi. I’m Mabs, and I am a demisexual woman trying to date after a particularly nasty divorce. I don’t know what I am doing.

Learning to live as a solitary person after twelve plus years is not fun. I go to work alone. I run errands alone. I cook dinner alone. I go to bed alone. There is no one to decompress the day with, no one to share all of the little pieces of life beside. I am learning to adjust to my independence and finding parts I enjoy in it, but I know myself. Left to my own devices, I will hunker down. I will crave companionship, but I will not actively seek it. My friends worry.

SexGuest UserFebruary 22, 2022sex, LGBTQ+, self love Comments

Dear Melina

Dear Melina

Dear Melina,

I write this love-letter to you when I am old enough to be your grandmother, and when Grandma was my age. Time is a funny thing. It unspools before us and then folds in on itself to be carried forward into the memories of body and soul. You are eleven years old in this memory. You are a child on the cusp of womanhood, and I am a woman on the cusp of old age.

Dear Past MeGuest UserJuly 29, 2021dear past me, self love, Finding myself, Self esteem Comments

My Pandemic Lesson

My Pandemic Lesson

February 22

We celebrate my son's eighth birthday. To my delight and surprise, it goes off without a hitch. Usually, weeks of anxiety precede his birthdays. Inevitably, great expectations turn to disappointment and anger when things don't go exactly as planned. Not infrequently, parties end with his screaming at his friends, stomping upstairs, slamming his door as I apologize and usher bewildered parents out of the house.

Life In the Time of COVIDJulia NusbaumMay 28, 2021Motherhood, Covid-19, Quarantine, Pandemic, self love Comments

Clusterhead

Clusterhead

I spent the morning weed whacking the pathways between my farm vegetable rows. Even in the slightly cooler morning hours, the heat was stifling, so I opted for shorts. Weed whacking done, I looked at myself, covered in dirt and grass clippings, dripping in sweat. I could hardly see my legs. Best not to head back to the house until lunchtime when I could hop in the shower. The tomatoes needed weeding, so I set to work pulling the lamb’s quarters and nutsedge from around the growing tomato vines.

Mental HealthGuest UserApril 30, 2021Mental Health, chronic pain, self love, kindness Comment

Defying Sweet Authority

Defying Sweet Authority

Brrring! The bell screeches, telling us that lunch is here.

A herd of tiny, boisterous bodies rushes into the open courtyard, waiting to eat, play, laugh, and talk together. Amongst them, a large group of girls congregate, buzzing with renewed excitement, eager to witness the daily ritual. I follow my friend, Githushka, out the door, rushing to get a prime spot.

Mental HealthGuest UserApril 28, 2021Mental Health, Feminism, self love, Self esteemComment

Autobiography of a Period in Five Irregular Chapters

Autobiography of a Period in Five Irregular Chapters

Chapter 1: February 1972

The brown stain in my white, cotton underwear looks like a crime scene. But it has to be a mistake, a trick of the fluorescent lighting in the bathroom. I wash my hands raw and clunk back out into the dining hall, my rented ski boots slamming against the cement floor.

Period StoriesJulia NusbaumJanuary 26, 2021period stories, womanhood, self love Comment

Those Women

Those Women

I woke up this morning, much earlier than I had any reason to, and lay in bed thinking about what I should do today. Then I realized I was angry, livid, frustrated to the nth degree. Why? What possibly could have happened in the five minutes cradled in the cool cavern of my bedroom, under the coziness of my sheets?

Resilient WomenGuest UserSeptember 25, 2020Strong women, self love, sexism Comment

The Fun Girl

The Fun Girl

The first beer is easy. You meet in your writing class one year before his wedding. After the first class of introductions and favorite authors, a few of your new classmates go to the local bar. He comes along, though he says very little, keeping a fresh cigarette always lit.

Resilient WomenJulia NusbaumSeptember 22, 2020Women of power, growing up, love, self loveComment

The Art of Being Resilient

The Art of Being Resilient

If one were to check the dictionary definition of resiliency and then examine my life, one would conclude that I have not arrived at being fully resilient.

Resilient WomenJulia NusbaumSeptember 21, 2020Resiliency, Strong women, Women of power, Growing, depression, mental health, self loveComment

Dear Lourdes

Dear Lourdes

June 23, 1985

Dear Lourdes the Younger,

I’m sending you this love and care letter on your sixteenth birthday in the hope that it will save you from more pain and heartache. You don’t know it yet, but this summer will irrevocably change your life in ways you can’t imagine. You will fall in love, fight for love, and then, hide your love.

Dear Past MeGuest UserJuly 28, 2020dear past me, History, growing up, childhood, love yourself, self love, self care, women, Writing, letters Comment

Dear Lily

Dear Lily

Dear Pubescent Me,

This is a sensitive topic, I know. I know how much pain and embarrassment it gives you. I know how you avert from peoples’ gazes, maintain distance, never keep your face still. Your hands gesture and distract—all to deter their eyes from lingering. They linger and they see. I won’t even name it, because naming it makes it real and forever, and you can’t fathom living with it forever.

Dear Past MeGuest UserJuly 27, 2020self love, Self esteem, body image, beauty standardsComment

My Body Is

My Body Is

My body is a windowless cage. The vessel trapping me in the memories of how I have been maimed and wounded. I look at old videos of myself laughing with friends and wonder about this stranger who laughs so freely, before she felt the weight of rape and womanhood set on her shoulders. After all, what is being a woman, if not being a plaything for others to abuse?

Body ImageJulia NusbaumJanuary 29, 2020body image, self love, Survivor Comment

Reborn

Reborn

I was sitting upright for the first time in about a week. I’d tried a few days earlier, but very soon my head pounded, and I vomited down myself. They said the lumbar puncture could do that. Now though, I could use the bed remote control to sit myself up. Under the white sheets I could make out the shape of what was supposed to be me.

Body ImageJulia NusbaumJanuary 28, 2020healing, body image, body positive, self love, disabilityComment

This New Me

This New Me

It's been a year since I haven't had breasts, and I think I’m pretty well adjusted. At first, I thought that I was going to have new breasts made from fat taken off somewhere else on my body, but it turns out that I lack “the right kind of fat,” so, at the last moment, I opted to forgo reconstruction.

Breast CancerGuest UserOctober 29, 2019story, new me, beauty standards, self love, family, cancer, confidence Comment

One in Eight

One in Eight

“Why me” never crosses your mind. Maybe you feel it’s inevitable; after all, your best friend and first boyfriend both died from cancer—not breast like you, but cancer nonetheless. And your favorite grandfather and most of his brothers and sisters—except the sister who died in the influenza epidemic—died of cancer.

Breast CancerGuest UserOctober 28, 2019cancer, self love, story, attitude, family, gratitude, thankful Comments

Dear Danielle

Dear Danielle

Dearest Little Girl,

I didn’t mean to forget you, to push you away for thirty years. I thought I knew you, but it turns out I created memories from photos and stories. I thought you were the happy, smiling child everyone said you were.

Dear Past MeJulia NusbaumJuly 31, 2019Survivor, Sexual assult, love letter, self loveComment

Indulge Me

Indulge Me

I’m sixty-three years old and in unchartered territory on this day of my birth.

• Old enough for Social Security, not old enough for Medicare.

• Old enough to be called “retired,” not old enough to be considered “an elder.”

• Physically (i.e., how I feel) too old for the Iron Woman Triathalon, but not too old for Advanced Yoga.

SecretsJulia NusbaumNovember 28, 2018secrets, childhood, love yourself, self love, mid-life crisisComment

Dear Holly

Dear Holly

Dear Past Me,

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but those aren’t orgasms. You’ll learn this years down the road when you finally get your medication cocktail right, and discover you’re deserving of pleasure. You have a lot of learning to do, and you’ll get there eventually. Trust me, things will start to feel a lot better soon, and you won’t have to fake it anymore, even if, in your heart of hearts, you feel like it’s sincere.

Dear Past MeJulia NusbaumAugust 1, 2018Self esteem, dear past me, self loveComment

Dear Eleisha

Dear Eleisha

Dear Past Me,

I’ve never written a Dear Past Me letter before. It never occurred to me. A Future Me letter makes more sense as I can store it away for you, me rather (Argh, confusing!) to read when you’re clearing out the cupboard, or that box under your desk where you put all the papers that have no proper place anywhere else in the house.

Dear Past MeJulia NusbaumJuly 30, 2018inequality, self love, Working women, dear past meComment

Center of it All

Center of it All

The other day, I pinched the skin around my navel between my fingers and thumb.

“What are you doing?” my husband asked.

“Channeling self-loathing into my belly,” I replied.

Beauty StandardsJulia NusbaumMarch 31, 2018beauty standards, self love, love yourself Comment