My Journey with Adjustment Disorder

It all started last March. I was looking out the window while driving to a regular doctor appointment. It was a gloomy morning. I looked at the road and saw all the cows and farms on the country road that led me to the doctor’s office. 

I turned to my mom and told her I had been feeling more sad than usual. I needed to talk to the doctor about it. My mom lowered the volume of the radio. She looked worried. She said it was probably because we just moved to Clermont not that long ago and I don't know anybody here.

Little did she know, it was more than that. I was feeling trapped in my body more than usual. Cerebral Palsy affects my mobility. I'm confined to a wheelchair twenty-four hours a day although I'm very sociable. I go out with friends.

I tend to always feel like I'm a glitch in a video game, still trying to find my way. I found my passion for writing at a young age, after the death of my friend. But all of the sudden the one thing I loved the most since I was a teenager didn't help me. Although on the outside I seemed to have it all, on the inside I broke down each day, getting angry at how things weren't working out at the age of twenty-two. 

I told my doctor about how I was feeling. She referred me to a mental health doctor. In the meantime, she prescribed Fluoxetine to help with my anxiety and depression. I needed to take it every single day, cutting the pill in half and placing it in my orange juice every morning. 

At first, when taking Fluoxetine, it helped me focus on my emotional state. I was doing okay. But after a while, I would become hungry and want to eat junk food every few minutes. I started to have the mindset that I needed to take the pills to be happy. I felt like I no longer had control of my life. As someone who is an inspiration to many people, I couldn't lift myself to see a happy light. 

A few months passed and I finally saw a therapist. I was open about feeling trapped in my body and the difficulty of being an adult with Cerebral Palsy. At the end, the therapist said, “Based on everything you told me I'm going to diagnose you with anxiety, depression, and an adjustment disorder.”   

At first, I was crushed. How could someone like me, who has everything going for her, have a disorder like AD at the age of twenty two? I spent the next couple weeks angry at the world. The Fluoxetine was taking a toll on my body. I started to get pimples all over. As I was facing this major challenge, my boyfriend walked out on me. That caused me to get more depressed to the point where I stopped eating, writing, and going to school. I basically stopped my life. 

I woke up one day with the support of my family and my friends and told myself I wasn’t going to let AD to take over my life anymore. I wasn't going to take Fluoxetine anymore either. As of September 8, 2018 I haven't take a single pill. I'm much happier. I’m now an advocate for mental health and started to write again. I completed my second novel and have continued my studies. 

My message to anyone struggling with mental health is you gotta keep on stomping. Regardless of the darkness you see, there is always a light.

-Tylia Flores

Tylia Flores is a 23-year-old born with cerebral palsy. Although her condition has affected her mobility, it has never affected her will and determination to make a difference in the world. Through her many life challenges and obstacles, she discovered her passion for writing. Tylia’s goal in life is to share her stories with the world. In doing so, she hopes to help others with disabilities realize that they, too, have the potential to make their dreams come true.