In the Mirror I See Who I was Meant to Be

I came to the realization very recently that I’ve changed a lot as a person. This whole embracing change attitude has really made a shift in me. Life can show you who and what matters in an instant. I am not sure how to put this, but I don’t miss the old me at all. I always used to feel timid, scared, apprehensive. Like I was back in middle school and even high school. 

I no longer miss the people that chose to leave my life, the ones I had gravely mistaken as my friends; my family. That whole, “they’ll be my friend forever” type of thinking is long gone now. In the past year, I can honestly say that the one lesson that life has taught me is that life can show you the person that you were truly meant to be. And place you right in front of one of your greatest fears. It’s in that moment that you have two choices: cower in a corner or face it. 

And If you asked me a year ago I’d be where I am today, not just personally, but also gaining speed professionally I’d tell you out right absolutely not. Who am I kidding, I am not the same person I was seven + years ago. Its like that line from one of my favorite songs by the rock band, Shinedown, Dangerous. “I own my story, and I won’t be sorry for it and neither should you.”

I have gone from carrying the weight of an extremely heavy heart, with a wall built up, to nowhaving to know the password to gain entry to me and my life now. A year ago this past July, I started my blog, The Abler. And with a simple goal In mind-To shed light, education, and knowledge on topics people either put too much assumption on or dismiss altogether because they simply don’t know what it is or how to help I met some incredible people. I met myself a long the way too. When I was little the corner of any room felt safe to me. While the world felt too big and confusing sometimes I could sit somewhere far off in the distance and watch people, pay attention to all the things people seem to ignore or dismiss as typical. I never had any issues with kids my own age, it was always the adults that made mountains out of speed bumps. They didn’t realize what it meant to be limited to an extent that affected how you did things, lived your life. They understood all the textbook versions and variations, but at the end of the day they closed their books and went on with their lives. That was their definitions of “typical”and thats okay. What wasn’t okay was the rejection they replaced their miss understanding with.

 And I guess you could say, that that was when I got a small glimpse into the real world, and adult thinking. I wish I could tell you that I understand adults more now that I am one myself, but sadly adults are more confusing than ever. Lately, I have seen the word inclusion a lot. Why are you more concerned with being included by groups of people to feel a part of something? Why can we just include ourselves into our own stories first, and make what they stand for more noticeable all on our own? Inclusion is a great concept for children, but adults can make their own way with or without feeling included or invited by another person(s). 

Living your life on your terms does not require an invitation. The world creates enough roadblocks, so why not try and figure out how to turn it into a door for yourself? That’s another lesson I have learned in the last several months. No opportunity is a missed opportunity unless you let it quietly float by you like a cloud in the sky.

-Jessica Niziolek

Jessica Niziolek is 35 years old. And founder of the blog The Abler. She is  also a contributing writer for several writing platforms that include The Mighty, and Medium.com. She is also a woman who deals and lives with Spastic Hemiplegia Cerebral Palsy. She is an aspiring YA novelist, and aspiring poet.  Jessica is a lover of words, chocolate, coffee, metal/rock music 

This piece was originally published on Medium.com.